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I remember that tree for many reasons. But the most important is...
Nagging.
Did I just say nagging?
Yes...
This tree stood in our little living room until late in Feb.
But Christmas is over in Dec.
Yep.
We were in a standoff...
A holdout...
A war of wills...
I took all the ornaments off.
I took all the lights off.
And then I asked him to drag the tree to the curb.
I mean, that's the mans job... right?
But he didn't take the tree to the curb.
Did I mention we lived in a little house behind a house...
The curb was a really long way.
But still, he did not take the tree.
So I asked a little less kindly.
And that friends is when he dug his heals in and so began the Christmas tree standoff of '98.
He wasn't unkind.
Just kept saying "yes, I'm going to take the tree to the curb."
He just wouldn't say when.
I finally broke in late Feb. and dragged the tree to the curb. By that point it was so dead it wasn't heavy anymore.
It was a defining day in our marriage. That tree taught me a lot about how Gregg works. He will do anything I ask him to do. But he will do it on his time table. Asking him repeatedly and nastily will do nothing to help my cause.
And I have learned over the years there are many things I can do myself. And that is good b/c he works really hard for us and if I can do a few things around here to make it easier for him then I will.
But if there is something that comes along that I cannot do myself and I have to ask himfor help. I have learned he will do it when he's good and ready and not before. And I'll be honest, sometimes it gets on my nerves, but I've learned...
Not to say anything...
Not to nag...
Just to wait it out.
There are some serious problems in marriages today. This is not one of them. Ya know what I mean.
And if there is something I need done in a time sensitive manner, it helps for me to kindly explain to him why I need it done right away.
He's not mean.
He does love me.
He will help me.
We are, after all, on the same team.
Remember...
4 comments:
We have that same thing here ... I can totally relate. Your words are wise!! Thank you.
Excellent reminder! My husband is the same way, and it makes for a much more peaceful household if I can just be patient and not stress or nag over something he said he'd do. I can only control my part, right? I love your little reminder mantra at the end!
This post made me smile! You made a very important point...we all have our little issues, but we are wise not to make them into big issues! Interesting how we learn to work together and live together, isn't it. :)
I remember this "conversation" at our house. It was about the trash. My question was why do I have to ask. Nobody asks me to do the laundry. Nobody asks me to the dishes. Nobody asks me to make supper. I see it needs to be done and I do it.
Guess who takes out the trash now - ME.
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