Siblings That Get Along

Having 5 kids sometimes lends itself to others thinking we've got lots of answers to some of parentings hardest questions. Well, considering that our oldest is about to turn 9 (which in the grand scheme of parenting is still very young) let me be the first to say we have much to learn.

But that doesn't stop people from asking me what to do about various things that come up. I used to be very hesitant to answer. However, The Holy Spirit began convicting me about my hesitance. Titus 2 clearly states that the older are to teach the younger and while I may not like to admit it...

I am becoming the older.

So I thought I would share one question we get a lot. Sibling rivalry. This is one area that any family with more than one child is going to encounter. We feel very strongly that our kids need to get along and the Lord has allowed our efforts to yield results. But make no mistake, it may be us doing the work here, but it is the Holy Spirit that works in their little hearts.

In short what I tell people when asked "How do you get your kids to get along so well?" is:

We make them.

On of our house rules is we will not treat friends at school better than we treat our brothers and sisters.

I started noticing this when I would pull up in car line and see my kids chatting with their friends...laughing...high fiving...hanging out of the car window waving and shouting goodbye. But then we would buckle up to head home and the bickering would begin. All trying to talk to me at once and yelling at each other to move over and be quiet. Or one would tell on the other for getting in trouble that day before the guilty one even had a chance to fess up.

It would often result in weeping and yelling.

And the kids would cry sometimes too.

No seriously, it made for a very unpleasant ride home. Praise God it's a short ride.

We started really talking about how they were treating each other.

We started looking to see what the Bible says.

We started praying.

And we started telling them they were each others best friends.

Now, don't get the idea that there is always peace on Team Babetz. We do have a house full of normal kids.

There is the typical fussing about who gets to play the video game first...

The boys don't like to watch "girly" movies on movie nights...

The race toward the ringing phone that occasionally ends in a collision...

And for those type of things we say, "you have to work it out." And the thing is, no one gets to play the video game until an agreement has been reached. And no one gets to watch a movie until they come to a unanimous decision. And the phone will go to voice mail before they agree on who's going to get it. So it works.

But we do draw the line at general unkindness. If you are spoken too...you must respond. There is no bragging of any kind. There is no complaining if one gets to do something and the others don't. We do not hold grudges. If one has set up a Lego city, a doll house, a 50 Matchbox car pile up, a fort...the others can not destroy it just for the fun of it. We do not make fun of each other. That is not to say we don't laugh at/with each other, but never to the point of being hurtful.

It really all boils down to:

I Cor. 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Conflict

We were given a pair of high heels (and I use that term loosely) yesterday for the girls...

I told them they could were them, but only to play not out of the house...

I'm not ready for that yet...

And neither is she as she twisted her ankle a time or two...

But something seems wrong here...

A 7, almost 8 year old with pig tails...

And heels...

(please ignore the mess as we are in the middle of a project at our house)

Girls...

This is my girl telling me she doesn't like what we are having for supper...OK. I'll try it, but I'm not gonna like it... Oh Yeah, I forgot... I DO like this.

Then, below is part of an email I received from her teacher this week:
She was so cute today. She said, "Mrs. ---------, i think i forgot to tell the class I am wearing new shoes!" So we let her stand up front and she told them her mommy got her new shoes. They gave her a round of applause! Priceless! i just adore her innocence!

Wimpy...Wimpy...Wimpy

I am a girly girl.

I like all things feminine.

I don't like to be sweaty, or dirty.


I come from a house of all girls.

No brothers.

I come from a house where the girls didn't have to mow the grass.

I remember as an older teen wanting to help out so I offered to mow for my dad.

I did one side of the front yard, which was divided in half by a side walk, then went to the other side to finish the job and ran the mower around the edges and got sidetracked...

It was like a work of art... the long grass in middle and the mowed grass as the frame.

No my dad never did ask me to mow for him again.

So when we got married the lawn was not my territory.

HC has always done is the lawn. He likes it. He's good at it. He gets his weed wacker out and edges. He trims bushes, he saws limbs. When the boys were smaller they would follow him around with their little toy mowers. Now they help clear branches and magnolia pods. He enjoys getting out and making an untamed plot of grass/weeds look neat and clean.

But things are hard these days for everyone, and for him this has meant more hours at work. And so I am getting up off the bench and getting my jersey dirty.

That's right, I'm mowing the lawn.

And the lawn is sadly taking one for the team.

I don't do as good a job as HC. I don't know how. But at least the kids won't get lost in the back yard. Last week it was raining and they wanted to play Star Wars in the back yard because it was like Dagobah.

Sad.

And so today I mowed the lawn for the 4th time in my life. And sadly I have the blisters on my hands to show it was only the 4th time in my life because I am a serious wimp!

Mothers Day..."recap"

5:30-8:15: Getting everyone ready for church...fed...dressed...combed...belted...shoed...

8:30-10:00: Worship...fantastic worship! Mixed with lots of shshshs..."sit up"s...a couple of trips to the bathroom...but great worship!

10:10-10:40: COFFEE

10:45-12:20: Deposit children in classes AhAhAh more coffee

12:25-12:40: Look for HC...retrace steps to reclaim forgotten sweaters...crafts...purses...Bibles...papers...

HOME to an enjoyable afternoon of fun playing with the kids.

6:00: Go to pick up dinner as a family...
6:05: Turn around b/c HC forgot his wallet and I didn't bring my purse...
6:10: Back home to retrieve wallet...OH, my purse was in the car after all **oops**
7:00: Nice meal that I didn't have to make!!!!!!!
And now, I have to thank the "little people" because without them I wouldn't get to celebrate this day...

I wouldn't get to answer to "Mom"...

I wouldn't get to see him grow into a fine young man, who loves God...

I wouldn't get to help her cultivate her desire to nurture...

Without them, I wouldn't get to see her excitement over life...

Or kiss his little sweaty face after a fun afternoon of play...

Without them I wouldn't get to sing sweet songs about Jesus in her ear late at night...

Without them I wouldn't get to listen to night time prayers so pure and honest...it's convicting...

I thank God for them...

The privilege of mothering them is daunting...and rewarding...scary...and comforting...

Am I up for the task?

Not in my own strength...

But I can do all things through Him who gives me strength! Philippians 4:13

It was a wonderful day indeed!!

Is it Summer Yet???

I'm ready.

Not for 100 degree days,

Or 110% humidity.

Not for bugs and bees.

Or for the water bill that comes with running through the sprinkler.

I'm ready to be done with homework and testing.

I'm ready to be done with lunchboxes and backpacks.

I'm ready to be done with school clothes and car line.

I'm ready...

I'm ready to have my kids home with me.

Spring has Sprung

It's spring and you know what that means...

The school spring carnival...

We had a good time...or at least I think we did.

The 3 older kids had to help me 'man' a game until Dad arrived to take them off to play.

Receiver got her face painted...

QB got his hair painted... HC was used as a balloon stand...

Receiver got a sweet flower...

The Center excitedly handed over her ticketsWaited with fingers in her ears... just in case it popped...
And got an awesome duck hat...
That guy was pretty good.

QB got marshmallow gun...

PVC put together in such a way so that when you stick a marshmallow in one end and blow, it shoots out the other end. Kind of like a glorified pea-shooter.

We had a couple of tickets left over at the end so QB got an extra for Kicker...

I thought that was sweet.

I also know it's spring b/c we had a Robin lay eggs in our Camellia bush out front.

We watched and watched those sweet little eggs until...

The mama robin didn't like us checking... she would chirp really meanly and sometimes even swoop at us. But it was totally worth it to get to see their little mouths open waiting for food.

Although Center didn't want to ride her bike...

One afternoon she stood outside just screaming "but the bird will peck my head off."

That information came from her brother no doubt.

And then yesterday I went buy and checked and this is what I found...

I checked all around for feathers and there weren't any (we have lots of cats in the neighborhood) I believe they grew and flew...

God's creation is an amazing thing. Now if I am brave enough I will sport some rubber gloves and retrieve the empty nest...

After I Lysol it of coarse.

Yes indeedy... Spring has sprung.