The Lottery

We're playing the lottery.   Not the money kind, but the 'school choice' kind.  We find out tonight if Sam will be going to the Charter school we applied for.  'Applied' really gives people the wrong idea.  Applying would imply that we had something to do with the selection process.  But other than filling out the application, we can't do anything.  The students are chosen via lottery.  They send all the names off into cyberspace (insert me waving my arms over my head all crazy like) and the computer randomly chooses the names of the children that will be attending.  So crazy! 

So I've been praying for the last month... and trying to find the balance between 'boldly' asking God to allow Sam to be chosen and preparing for the fact that this might not be what God deems best for Sam.  I have a hard time with that. Balance that is.  Always have.  I find it incredibly hard to pray for something I really want or think would be great for my family and not getting my hopes up so that when/if God chooses otherwise I'm not crushed.  Does that even make sense?  

But, on the other hand, it is so reassuring to know there is nothing I/we can do to get in... other than the application.  The choice is so clearly going to be the Lords and that is very calming. 

So I'll let you know where we end up.   Where ever that is will be up to God.